


Bust Your Kneecaps (Ooh wop de do wop de do)

by TheCreatorCrew



Series: It's Two AM and I Cannot Properly Tag [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: :), Angst, Attempted Murder, Cliffhanger, I mean, If You Squint - Freeform, Kinda, M/M, Mafia SBI, Oneshot, Ruined wedding, Runaway Bride, SBI dynamics, Songfic, a little bit, an ongoing saga, and things go off the rails, but you'll get what i mean, dream says no, he's very possessive even if he's trying to kill dream, how do i tag again?, i guess, implied Dream/Techno, insane fundy, it's two am and i cannot properly tag, mafia, no actual song bits, possessive Fundy, that cliffhanger though, tubbo 's there, uh, yandere Fundy, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:53:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28934325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCreatorCrew/pseuds/TheCreatorCrew
Summary: In which Dream says "I don't" and everything goes downhill from there.Also known as: Listening to Bust Your Kneecaps (slowed) on repeat all night and getting brainrot isn't a good idea.{disclaimer here about not shipping IRL people and just personas, don't show this to a CC or else i will personally boot you into the sun)
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Floris | Fundy
Series: It's Two AM and I Cannot Properly Tag [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2122143
Comments: 3
Kudos: 65





	Bust Your Kneecaps (Ooh wop de do wop de do)

**Author's Note:**

> I- I sat down to write another chapter of ASSFD and simply didn't. So you get this instead.
> 
> Enjoy unhinged Fundy and very concerned Dream.
> 
> set loosly in an AU i'm planning i think

Dream hummed under his breath, gently swaying his arms. Cradled in them was a bouquet of various yellow flowers, all of it very expensive looking; from the pristine and crisp condition of the petals on the flowers, the neatly groomed stems, even the ribbon sparkled and shined with the real-  _ real!-  _ gold trim, holding the whole thing together. 

He flushed, the feeling of not being worthy enough to hold such an expensive thing flowed back. It happened with everything he was introduced to at the wedding, since he came from a rather humble background and the  _ grandness _ of it overwhelmed him.

“Are you ready?” Eret’s voice came from behind him, finishing up with styling his hair. He bobbed his head lightly, receiving a gentle pat on the head. “That’s good, that’s good.”

The edge of the gown he was wearing fell in waves from the chair to the floor, the embroidered lace overskirt pooling at his feet. He tried pulling it up again, only succeeding in swinging it around. Eret laughed, shaking their head as they offered him a hand. 

He took it, rising with wobbly knees, the bouquet almost being crushed with the strength of his grip. 

Captain Puffy entered the dressing room, flashing a smile at her ‘adoptive’ son. Dream returned it in kind, blushing again at her teasing remarks about his appearance as she slid the small crown into his hair and flipped up the attached veil. 

Her smile turned fonder as she squeezed his shoulders, brushing his hair back. “You’ll do great.”

Although that only made his stomach knot up more- He was expected to  _ perform,  _ and well at that, even if this was supposedly to be his wedding where he married the love of his life. 

So why did it feel so sinister…

Eret left, presumably to tell the others they would be out shortly, just as Sapnap entered. He looked dashing in the suit, once again supplied by Fundy’s family. It was almost downright  _ concerning _ how expensive this all must’ve been, and it made him wonder just how they obtained that much cash to burn.

“Dream, we need to talk,” he remembered he couldn’t just quirk up an eyebrow as an answer while wearing the opaque veil, so he just nodded as Sapnap led him into a storage room. “It’s about Fundy.”

Fundy? What?

“What about him?” He asked cautiously, hugging the bouquet tighter.

The ravenette tore a hand through his hair, grumbling when Dream fixed it with a fuss. “It’s just- he’s a little… you know..” his eyes flickered away, squeezing them shut. “... crazy.”

“ _ What? _ ”

“He threatened me, George, Schlatt, and probably more guys! Just for talking to you!”

“And you’re telling me  _ now _ , minutes before we’re to be wed?!” His mind raced a mile per minute, trying to comprehend the bomb Sapnap  _ casually _ dropped on him. It would explain why a lot of his friends stopped talking to him, distancing themselves from him suddenly without warning. But Fundy was such a sweetheart, he would never…

His best friend’s gaze hardened, dark eyes with flecks of maroon and bright orange flickering around like embers of a dying fire. “He  _ hurt _ George, Dream. Just because you used to have a crush on him or something. Fundy is  _ dangerous _ .”

Dream swallowed. That also explained the burn George sported on his arm for the last week, inexplicably appearing after Dream and Sapnap left him in his hotel for the night and before they arrived to pick him up, separated for a mere eight hours. 

_ Oh Ender, he was getting married to an insane person. _

“You need to reject-”

“Already planning on it.”

Sapnap sighed, Dream taking his hand in his to prevent him from messing with his hair again. “We could just leave now,” he wrapped his arms around the tall blonde, leaning into him. “And for what it’s worth, you look  _ damn _ good.”

He laughed, affection filling his senses. Sapnap was a smart ass, but a funny one at that. 

“I just want to let him down slowly, leaving him at the altar would be rude and he would be sad.”

“What if he hurts you?” Sapnap’s voice tightened with emotion, and Dream hugged him closer. “I’m worried about you being up there with him…”

He gently caressed Sapnap’s cheek, smiling fondly at him. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

They exited the storage room together as Eret called for them, Sapnap simply stating that he was reassuring the bride-to-be about Fundy’s love. The man seemed to accept that, only a lingering gaze and furrowed brows being a sign of any suspicion.

He peeked out the dressing room into the main hall- still as breathtaking as the first time he entered it a month or so ago, when they were scouting out places to hold it.

Large, grand, elegant, grandeur dripping off every chandelier light and sparkling gem, not to mention completely  _ spotless _ .

Truly magnificent. And it left him wondering how Fundy managed to secure such a sought after venue,  _ just how much money did he drop on this wedding? _

Tommy and Ranboo were throwing around the flowers, although the former was mostly throwing them  _ at  _ people, specifically George. Tubbo played the piano, a haunting melody diverting from the typical wedding tune. Sinister, perhaps. 

_ How did I not see it before? _

Sapnap took his arm, guiding him down the aisle as the music swelled. It was an effort not to trip over the train of his dress in the glass heels he wore- “ _ Like Cinderella!” Fundy exclaimed with delight as he slid one onto his foot-  _ Why did he even agree to wear them?

His friend cast him a wary look, to which he shook his head. He would be fine. 

Fundy looked  _ breathtaking  _ in that suit vest, hair slicked back but just fluffy enough to compliment his twitching fox ears. The worst part was how his eyes were full of love and wonder,  _ simply in awe. _

His heart broke a little.

He took his place by Fundy, looking at his side of the hall. He could pick out Puffy, George, Ant, Punz, Alyssa, Karl, and Ponk, just to name a few he could quickly see. All of them beside Ant and George seemed proud, the former two looking like they were witnessing the calm before the storm.

It was scary to think that maybe, just maybe, if Fundy truly was as Sapnap said- then they would be.

On Fundy’s side was his family, as expected, Eret, Jack, Niki, and some others he didn’t recognise. Bad stood behind the altar, chosen to officiate the wedding since he already had the necessary means. The eager demon leaned against it, all bright smiles and soft eyes. 

Fundy held his hands, forcing him to carefully cradle the bouquet between his neck and arm.

_ Just let him down slowly. Easy enough. _

Bad recited his lines, all of the typical wedding talk. “ Will you have this man to be your husband, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love him, comfort him, honor, and keep him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?”

_ Sappy _ . Fundy nodded, grinning widely. “I do.”

His tongue felt like lead in his mouth, barely noticing when Bad turned towards him and repeated the phrase. He felt dizzy, the world swirling around him. Sure, the feeling of eyes on him in  _ any  _ situation made him nervous, something odd for someone as well known as him, but at least  _ then _ it was good eyes and he could hide under his mask. 

But here? Gazes would turn sour, poisonous, sharpen themselves to pierce through his skin and soul, judging every inch he had exposed.

A steadying breath as Bad finished, Fundy smiling at him expectantly. His eyes scanned the crowd again, locking with Sapnap’s intense gaze.  _ Fire _ , he distantly thinks.  _ Enough to burn this whole damn church to the floor _ . 

He raised his gaze back to Fundy’s, although he doubted he could even tell. His mouth opened of its own accord, lips forming words his mind couldn’t focus on, and they tumbled out without his permission.  _ I don’t,  _ they said, and he felt like a watcher in his own body.

His hands pulled away from Fundy’s, nervously clinging to the bouquet, eyes averted firmly away from his “groom”.

There was a shift, he could feel the hum in his blood. It felt like dropping into the End Realm on accident, the sudden change from gravity pushing down on you to complete and utter weightlessness, floating in an abyss of stars before it took hold again and pushed you back down, albeit the energy feeling like it took a step to the right before enveloping you again. 

As expected, a flood of shocked and angry faces stared daggers into him. Most from Fundy’s side (although that was expected). His hum was soft, barely loud enough for him to hear it. 

“I’m sorry, Fundy. I can’t in good conscience do this,” he stated, gentle but firm. “I would feel too guilty.” He spotted Sapnap’s nod out of the corner of his eye.

Fundy was silent, almost suffocating in how long it dragged on. Bad, clearly sensing the distress, asked him to reconsider. 

“I can’t,” His voice dropped to a soft whisper, hardly louder than the fluttering of butterfly wings. They slammed against his insides, twisting them and forming a knot.  _ Ow _ . 

The fox-hybrid spoke finally, words in tune with the music. “ _ Why? _ ”

Dream shrugged. He wouldn’t dare bring it up now, in front of  _ all those eyes _ . It was best a matter to talk out when he was more ready to defend himself, in case anything got violent. 

He immediately regretted looking back up at the teen across from him, who’s eyes were flooded with heartbreak and tears. It made him want to embrace the other, but he refrained. His choice was made, and he couldn’t have short-term gratification overshadow long-term consequences.

It would be alright. They could talk about it another day. For now, he stepped towards the stairs, down the platform, and out of the hall-

He was stopped by a hand tightly gripping his wrist as he went to leave, pulling him back. An involuntary noise of surprise left him as he met Fundy’s eyes, now bordering on anger.

_ Anger. _ Oh. 

“Dream, don’t leave me-” he sniffled, the anger subsiding back into anguish and despair. “I- don’t understand. You  _ said _ you’d love me, forever and ever.” 

Ah, yes. The vows they made when they were younger. He sighed, giving the hybrid the slightest shake of his head. “That was a long time ago, Fundy. Besides, I do. I really do.”

“ _ Then why did you say no? _ ”

His shoulders slumped. “ _ Because _ . Information I received tells me this isn’t a good idea.” Dream mentally kicked himself for revealing too much, judging by the sudden hard and understanding look Fundy gets.

He pulled away further, chased by Fundy, who grabs both his wrists tighter.  _ That’ll bruise _ . 

“Honey, please,” Fundy pleads, sadness evident in his tone. “We can still- we can get the ceremony over,  _ then _ we can talk about this.” He clearly doesn’t like how Dream feverishly shakes his head and tries walking away again.

“No. That’s not a good idea, annulling a marriage is difficult.”

He is dragged back in front of the altar again without much say in the matter. “We won’t  _ have _ to annul it, because you’ll realise you  _ want _ to be married.”

Bad looks between the fighting couple, mouth opening a few times to stay something before deciding to stay out of it.

Fundy’s fingers dig into his palms, claws slipping out slightly when he forgets to hold them in, drawing a few drops of blood. He growls, low and deep in his chest. “I’ll have your heart on a fucking platter-”

He stops himself before going further, but the damage is done. Dream forcefully pushes him again, rubbing his wrists. “ _ What. _ ”

“Well- might you recall, we have a… uhm.. small, family business,” A rumbly laugh escapes the fox hybrid, bitterness accompinting the usually joyful sound. Dream looks at him, obviously confused. That was one thing he always thought was cute about the blonde; the fact that he was smart and clever but still dense enough to not understand half the euphemisms he made. “The family will  _ not  _ like this.”

They both glance at said family, who are, indeed,  _ not happy campers _ . 

“That’s understandable,” Dream mumbles, hiding his face behind the flowers. “But we can’t just-”

Fundy’s tone is frightening and low when he speaks, catching Dream off guard. “They’ll bust your kneecaps.”

He blinks, mind struggling to keep up.  _ Must’ve misheard, he had to have said something else. But kneecaps is such a- _

Another laugh from Fundy, almost hysterical to the point where Dream questions his sanity. The teen hums a tune to himself, one the blonde is familiar with. The fox always sings that, whether it be tapping a beat on a desk or whistling. Hell, even his ringtone followed the same beat.

It matches up with the increasingly menacing music Tubbo has been playing, clearly not fit for a wedding. It would be right at home in a horror movie, or even better yet, a nightmare. Unfortunately, Dream has already pinched himself and wished to go home. 

“Bust your kneecaps,” the fox sings, eyes glinting with that unhinged charm Sapnap’s gets whenever he just lit a fire they all know will rage for several days, or George’s when he happens upon a new charm that he has  _ just _ the right thing for. Hell, even Bad’s. It’s very rare, but whenever he has a particularly good killstreak, it’s terrifying how easy he changes from nice to  _ bloodthirsty _ . It’s a very familiar one to Dream, almost comforting. Almost.

“Dream, please. You’re not a fool, are you?” he asks, receiving a quiet ‘no’ in return. “You’re no chump, right?”

The blonde frowns. “Why are you-”

“You  _ weren’t!  _ But now you have cold feet, don’t you?” The fox spits out, rage returning to his features. It doesn’t look good on him. “And now all you’ll be-” 

Fundy kneels Dream in the gut, the latter completely taken by surprise and reacting only to hold his stomach. The former, taking advantage of his weakness, kicks him again. 

The blonde’s back connects with the wooden floor, yelping slightly. Fundy grins maniacally, dropping down to press a knee against his chest, restricting his airflow. “-is a  _ speedbump _ .”

It’s laughably easy to disarm one of the greatest fighters to grace the planet, but Fundy supposes he got a lucky shot in, especially if you take into consideration the clothes unfit for fighting of any kind. He flips the veil up, drinking in the delicious sight of watery green eyes filled with fear and plush pink lips unable to form proper begs for Fundy to stop, to be granted  _ oxygen.  _

Intoxicating is the one thing to describe the scene. Making Dream beg was supposed to come later, but he could live with this, especially if they were going to kill him. Might as well have his fun now.

“It’s just business.”

He glances behind him as the other members of the  _ business _ join the party. Blood litters the aisles of chairs below them, presumably from taking care of the most troublesome guests. Fundy flashes the three a smile, receiving a grin from his “father”, being flipped the birdy by Tommy, and a thumbs up from Techno. Lovely.

Once he looks back, he’s disappointed by how quickly Dream adapted and masked the panic once present on his face. What a pity, although that skill was something that drew him in to the blonde in the first place.

What a great day for torture. 

Techno started making a call for reinforcements and Tommy passed him the cushion with the rings, still undisturbed. 

He hummed, taking the smaller and more ornate one in his hand. It was crafted from silver, an elegant fire opal set as the main gem with other orange stones flanking it. 

Fundy slid the ring on Dream’s finger, admiring how perfectly it fit. His colour on his bride. Dream resisted lightly, tearing his hand away slowly when his grip loosened, not willing to push the boundaries  _ too _ far.

Clever, clever, clever.

“Y’know, Dream,” he started, putting on his own ring. Forged of gold and emeralds, contrasting his bride’s own. “there’s still time. We could go  _ far  _ together.”

He smiles, musing lightly. Wilbur snorts behind him, probably surprised he’s even paying the possibility of forgiving Dream any mind. “I could tell uncle Techno to call off the guys with the-” he leaned down, breathing into his blonde’s ear. “- _ crowbars _ .”   
  


The mask breaks, Dream’s eyes going wide with panic. “ _ Crowbars?” _

“Crowbars,” He repeats, grinning.

“Fundy- I- this is a fucking  _ crime.  _ You’re a criminal!”

He shrugged, welcoming Phil with a slight wave, keeping his focus on the indignant blonde. “You call it crime, we call it  _ smart _ family business.”

“You’re  _ actually _ insane,” Dream hissed, wincing when Fundy presses down harder with his knee. “Fucking  _ insane _ .”

“Oh, well,” Fundy sighs, rising to take the baseball bat Phil offered. “Insane, but famous.”

The emerald-eyed boy immediately shot up, desperately searching for an escape route from the circle of  _ actual insane people-  _ finding a gap between Tommy and Wilbur because nobody figured he would head  _ further in _ the church. He breaks into a run, pure adrenaline replacing his blood as he darts down the large halls.

The footsteps aren’t far behind, so he wastes little time in planning a route out. Heading deeper wasn’t the smartest move, but he could make it work.

It hurts a little to tear off the lace overskirt, seeing such an expensive gown be ripped kills him a bit considering just how much it cost to tailor, but he does so anyway since the need to run fast overshadows the pretty dress.

He throws it behind him, increasing his speed now that he can run a little more freely without tripping. Left in the silk dress, he wonders how disheveled he looks in comparison to the rest of the walls that surrounded him. Probably very.

They scream after him, threats of busting his kneecaps echo on deaf ears as he slides into a room, closing the door behind him, buying himself some time.

He prys off the glass shoes, releasing his feet from the prison that was running in those things. A simple run probably dropped the value by 60%, but he kept them to pawn off later. 

The door wasn’t even bothered with, simply knocked off its hinges by a few strong hits. He really isn’t surprised, the door wasn’t flimsy by any means, but Techno had some serious strength behind him. 

Fundy twirls around his bat, the sadist smile resting on his lips more concerning than anything else.

Just how had he hidden such a vital part of himself for five, six,  _ seven fucking years?! _

The fox-hyrbid almost seems apologetic, eyes resting solely on Dream. “It’s really a shame you had to go and become an issue for us- I really love you Dream.”

“Oh, dear Dream, I’ll miss you,” That doesn’t stop him from approaching closer and attempting to take a swing, missing pathetically and banging into a nearby chair with a  _ smash _ .

Dream seized the bat in a sudden flurry of motion, tugging it from the confused teen’s hands and lunging forward to knock him back into the others, effectively gaining more time for himself to run  _ and  _ a weapon as he fled the room. Wilbur cursed loudly, helping Fundy up.

“That  _ fucking twat, pussy, little prick-” _

Techno, ever the nonchalant asshole, shushed Wilbur. “You good, Fundy? Lookin’ a little sick.” At the other’s confusion, he simply chuckled. “ _ Love _ sick.”

It was a terrible joke. But, he wasn’t wrong. Fundy stared at the door with a longing that could only be described as such, and he sighed heavily. “Yeah. That’s about it.”

“Fundy, he rejected you-” Tommy started, giving up exactly four words in upon realising there was no hope for his nephew and abruptly turned on his heel and left.

He wasn’t quite as upset as he should’ve been, or even was. Maybe it was the fact that he couldn’t help but admire the blonde speedrunner, even if he broke his heart and a million times over. It really was a shame it turned out like this.

There wasn’t much point in going after him now, considering he had most likely already escaped into the city. Still, he found himself back at the main hall, surprisingly calm considering how angry he was earlier.

Maybe he should get that checked out.

Although, by some cruel miracle, Dream dropped one of the glass heels on the way out. Fundy laughed, showing Phil it. 

“It’s a shoe, Fundy.”

“ _ No _ , it’s a shoe that my Cinderella left me,” he giggled, giddy. “He wants me to find him!

“And I will find him, Phil,” Fundy’s smile was ominous, the unhinged glint returning. Phil wasn’t a man who was  _ afraid  _ of things in the traditional sense and often swept his childrens’ issues under the rug, and even he could accept that this wasn’t to be brushed aside. “Whatever it takes.”

“Fundy, maybe you should-”

He was ignored in favour of his grandson quietly plotting under his breath, which Phil decided it would be easier to physically stop him than to mentally stop him, so he gave up trying.

Unfortunately enough for them, none of the members of the “family business” noticed that Techno left, and all had been too busy to notice his blatant lack of care and engagement in the festivities.

Green and red look much better together than green and orange, wouldn’t you say?

**Author's Note:**

> it is 3k words of me shitposting. 
> 
> comments are pog
> 
> please tell me how to tag i am broken-
> 
> wow cliffhanger hahaha pog


End file.
